Critique Clinic – July 1-July 3, 2011
HOLIDAY WEEKEND SPECIAL – THE CLINIC IS NOW CLOSED!
The clinic will be open until midnight on Sunday, July 3rd. We are open to ALL artists, regardless of whether you’ve recently submitted a card or not, but you are still limited to ONE card per artist. We will take an unlimited number of artists, but I reserve the right to close the clinic for the day if it gets too crazy. The rest of the regular rules apply.
Join us for the discussion!
_________________________
How does it work? Each week on Friday, I will open the clinic to any artist who wants an honest peer review and critique of a card which gets plenty of clicks but no sales, so something’s probably not quite right. Or perhaps you’re a newbie who isn’t sure if a recently submitted card is up to a marketable standard. Anyone is welcome to participate. In fact, I encourage everyone to at least look at the cards in question and read the critique comments – you may learn something. The purpose of the clinic is to help artists improve the commercial appeal and marketability of their cards.
THE RULES
- ONE card per artist only.
- Card must be for sale at Greeting Card Universe.
- Only 5 artists will be accepted per weekly clinic – first come, first served. If you miss out, you’ll have to wait until the next week. International artists, if your time zone doesn’t permit prompt participation, get in touch with me and I’ll try to work something out with you.
- To submit a card for critique, post a link to the card’s details page at GCU in the comments section of this clinic post. Check through the comments before you submit to see how many cards have already been submitted that day. If the number is five, please do not post yours. Any cards posted after the limit is reached will be deleted from the comment thread.
- Any artist is free to comment and/or give a critique of a submitted card. HOWEVER, post-and-run comments like “great card” or “you suck” will not be tolerated, nor will abuse. Criticism should be constructive, not destructive. Play nice or you will be banned.
- I also won’t tolerate temper tantrums if you decide your “artistic integrity” is being stepped on because you asked for a critique, and someone told you the photo you’re using isn’t in focus. If you can’t take honest criticism, don’t submit. Once gets you a warning; twice and you’re banned from submitting in the future.
- Artists who critique may do so by giving their opinion, posting an example of another card, or pointing the submitter to a video, on-line article, or other helpful suggestion.
- Don’t forget that artists who are giving you tips and helpful advice are volunteering their time and trouble. Be nice. A link back to their store on your website or blog is appreciated (but not mandatory).
- You are free not to take any advice offered. There’s no guarantee any card will be a bestseller, so don’t come into the clinic with unrealistic expectations.
- Once you submit a card for the clinic, you may NOT submit again for 4 weeks – fair’s fair.
- Rules may change as we go along and we see how things turn out, okay?
So without any further ado, I declare this week’s Critique Clinic open!
GCU Community 
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-The+Long+Climb-greeting+card-456490?pid=456490&aid=137769&ref=cb_card_title
This card gets a lot of clicks but as yet not a single sale. I’d like to ‘punch it up’ because I think it would be a great draw once it’s been redesigned a bit. Thank you for your help.
Here is the link to the store, should you need it.
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/katiesclevercardstore
Petra
The photo’s nice and clear, but lacks a real focal point. Perhaps one of the photographers will be able to give you some tips on that score.
As to your inside verse… honestly, it needs work. A greeting card is a conversation between two people – the giver and the recipient. It should read like part of a conversation. You especially want to remember that with a card like this, you want the sentiment to be a sincere expression of support, and I’m afraid a stiffly written rhyme (retort? balk? these are words you don’t see often in cards, although I realize your need to scan) is coming across as forced and overly formal. I would skip the poem and instead, try to write something a little more heartfelt. This recent Nuts & Bolts article may help – it’s all about inside verse.
I’ll speak only from my photographic background…Is the photo sharply focused and fairly well lit? Yes. However, I find no subject for my eyes to focus on. This photo as is does not provide the viewer with an emotional response or tell a story. If you can use some lighting and soft focus techniques (maybe a vignette) to force the eye up the rock “path” this might work. This link might help, it’s all about drawing the viewer in to a photograph:
http://salonofartnewsletter.weebly.com/photo-tips.html
Hi Petra – to add to Doreen’s great insight, you might want to either work this photo as she said with post-shoot lighting or focusing, OR save this Long Climb sentiment for another photo? One with either someone (human or animal) actually trying to make that climb, or another great rock formation with some sort of trail for the eye to follow … a dried up spot where water flows down when it rains? A natural climbing trail that humans or animals have used over time to define it? Your sentiment brought to mind one of my photos that I haven’t known how to use it … you quite possibly have started my creative juices on this one : )- http://dogbreedz.smugmug.com/Non-Pet-Photography/Mission-Trails-Park-Santee/3-28-2011/16421697_r6QsZ#1235299194_54epo
Doreen’s link has some good info in it, too … d
Taking a look at title and keyword, as well …
If it were me, I’d title it The Long Climb – encouragement greeting card
(that one word will help in search engines and is a wonderful one-word descriptor for your sentiment)
Keywords as you have them:
encouragement, support, hanginthere, waterfall, nature, sky, oak, granite
I’d include:
the long climb, rocks, outdoors, out of doors
I’d also change hanginthere to hang in there
My old eyes aren’t what they used to be: where is the waterfall in your image? That might be something to bring out post-processing. If I found your card by searching for waterfall, I’d likely pass it over, rather than search for it.
Hope these help ..
oops, I forgot to mention artist notes!
Maybe something along the lines of: life shows us challenges, sometimes when we aren’t ready for them. It’s a Long Climb ahead and you can tell someone special with this encouragement card that you are there for them, all the way to the top!
I am speaking as a photographer right now. There is another tool that you may or may not have in your gear box. You might want to try using an architectural lens with a wider angle. This just might enhance the viewpoint and even possibly give you a focal point. It is really hard to say since it is a location shot. Play around with a fish eye effect in post to see if it helps with the focal point issue. Just trying giving you some ideas that I didn’t see listed above.
SunatNight:
I use a point and shoot currently, so most of my editing is done in post processing. I’ll mess with the ‘fisheye’ and ‘sepia’ effects to see what develops. (Pun fully intended.) If there is an ‘architectural’ feature in GIMP, I’ll play with it and see if it improves the overall effect of the image.
I’m working on a few surprises too, so the card is very much in development currently.
Thank you for your help and the two research links, ladies. I agree with the focal point issue but am unsure quite how to refine it, as the long climb was the focus. LOL 🙂
As for the verse? Hm…I’ll work on that one, as it’s always bugged me.
Maybe you could ‘burn’ the uphill path (make it a little darker) in your editing program to make it stand out from the rest of the photo. Or dim down the rest and leave the path a little brighter…not a lot just enough so you eye will be drawn to it….as for the inner verse, I noticed you have ‘neu’ instead of ‘new’…
Hello Petra,
I’ll have to agree with Corrie and also saw that in a lot of your other photos as well, the lack of a strong visual point. Scenics are nice, but a strong focus point that relates without a question of doubt to your category is required when selling. I’m finding that out more and more that despite my interpretation of a scene, the real question is whether the majority of people will get it. In this photo, the idea is there a long climb up the hill, but a better photo would be a defined trail or path, even steps up and then some sort of spot or focus at the top of the climb.
Looking at another card, the get well poem with the mushrooms, that is nice but you really need to crop in on the mushroom as your focal point. Also in regard to focal points in photography or art in general, always lead your viewer through the image to that point. Centering your subject or focus is usually not the visually interesting way to present an image. For example, a stemmed rose, start the cluster of leaves and bottom edge of the rose in one corner of the image so the eye follows up the stem to the focal point of the flower itself which rather than being centered should fill most of the opposite two-thirds of the image.
There’s one simple rule that for whatever reason seems to always work and it’s called the rule of threes. In Art a canvas is broken down in thirds across and up and down and the same in photography. When capturing a photo that isn’t always possible, but thats why we have cropping tools in photoshop. lol It’s the same in all art forms, even in landscaping – a group of three trees is always more visually stimulating than four or two. It’s actually more obout odd numbers which our eyes translate as being more natural and not forced.
I’ll also have to agree with Corrie on the poetry, to me it felt a bit forced and didn’t really flow with the subject. You have a intellectual, literary mind, but in greeting card verse, simple is what sells. It reminds me of what I was taught in journalism classes while I was in school. Write for your audience. Articles should be written so someone with a third grade vocabulary and grammarability can read them. The same with a greeting card, the image should be enough on it’s own, we provide the verse for edification, unless it’s the opposite then the verse should stand on it’s own and the image is for visual support. Clear and to the point! LOL
You have a lot of nice photography, but all nice scenics aren’t nesacarily strong subjects.
I’m fighting this same thing myself and have to keep telling myself, KISS, KISS, KISS! Keep It Simple Stupid! LOL Sometimes we’re just too smart for our own good!
Best Always, Randy
Oh gosh, Randy, you just had me giggling uncontrollably! I love the KISS thing and as I continue to learn, this is one I will add to my knowledge base too… I admit to all that sometimes it is indeed hard to pull back and think like a buyer and not as the creator… but this is all great advice – simple is better and relating subject to category is key… since I roped Petra into this greeting card stuff, I feel a tad responsible. We both came in here really green with big ideas and I again say how appreciative it is to have this critique forum to work out the kinks.
I prefer Keep it Simple Sweetheart. Stupid is too harsh, but I get your points entirely, Randy. I edited the verse a litte for Long Climb, but know it still needs work.
I need to work on keeping focus but not honing in entirely too, it seems. Stay tuned, because I know things will improve with everyone’s gracious help.
Corrie and Doreen have made some excellent suggestions for your card. I would just add that it might help to have more information about the photo in your artist notes and key words. When I updated my cards with landscape photos last year I included location and a description as well. Seemed to make a difference on sales.
That is so true! Location information does make a different in sales. It goes hand in hand with travel.
I’ll add the location as a county-wide thing, but nothing more specific to protect my neighbors’ privacy. I’m not using a public or Federal park for these images, but a friend’s ranchland so I must take care with revealing too much location information.
For the others, I’ll add the location because it’s a great way to promote a local tourist must-see location. Some are sights along the various roads I use to get into town and home again, as well.
I’m glad that my struggles have inspired you Peggy. LOL 🙂 I’m on my own Long Climb of sorts, reorganizing my life and trying to move into a better one, so these kinds of images speak to me loudly.
This particular cascade was long dry by the time I took this image, so getting creative is definitely in the cards (pun intended). Even when it flows, it isn’t as obvious as others are, so capturing the water in it is a real challenge. However, onto the plusses.
I’ve gained a lot of good insights into how to take future images for better impact as well as a niche market on which to focus my efforts. The true trick is capturing images meant for a dSLR with a point and shoot. LOL 🙂
Donna already recommended that I create some sort of hood to help with the glare factor, which I’m doing. I shoot with a Nikon CoolPix L110, thus the issues with backlighting and glare at times. I’m also still learning how to post process with GIMP (a fantastic alternative to the more expensive Photoshop products since it’s free and seems to contain a lot of their ideas).
I’ve begun the process of going through the cards I’ve already posted and looking at them as you did, so it will be a bit before I’m up to speed with new issues.
Ok…here’s my entry.
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-Butterflies+and+Rainbows-greeting+card-831937?pid=831937&ref=cb_card_title
I created it recently when I was inspired to do so by my favorite aunt who has been living in a nearby town all her life, but will soon be moving to a nursing home about 3 hours away. 😦 Anyhow, she loves butterfiles and I love rainbows, so I made it especially for her – representing ties that will keep us together over the distance.
But now I’d like to have some feedback on it, because I don’t know if it’s really ready for GCU’s non-private gallery – lol (even though it was approved). Also, here is the verse that I put on her card (since it’s different than the public version):
(Butterflies and Rainbows)
They shall follow wherever you go.
May the wind be beneath your wings
as you discover all that the Good Lord brings.
We’ll miss you, our Dearest Aunt Doris,
but we will see you again soon, of course.
Be safe on this path that God’s given you
and know you’re in our thoughts every day…and every night, too.”
———
By the way… I’m looking forward to all the critiquing, but I’m getting ready to depart for the holiday. I’m not sure what the internet access is like where I’m headed, so don’t be surprised if I don’t get back over here until Tues or Weds. Thanks! 🙂
Cindy
Hmmm… I find the font you used to be very near to unintelligible, and I’m not sure I get the connection between “thinking of you” and butterflies, although you tried to address that in your inside verse. Looking at the large view, your background and images appear to be pixielated (although I think that’s a deliberate effect in the background). Apart from that, I like the shape of the butterfly in its ornate floral box. Reminds me of psychedelic art from the 60’s and 70’s. Maybe the design would be stronger if you used a single butterfly instead of filling up the card? Negative space is hot. 🙂
Corrie
Hi Cindy,
I have to agree with the unintelligible font. When I find a cute font like this one way to get away with using it without overdoing it, is to use it only on the first letter of the main words…in this case Butterflies and Rainbows. Find a complimentary and very legible font to go with it and use that for the remaining lettering…just a thought.
As for the image, the butterflies and framing are unique and pleasing to me, however the background and font clutter it to the point of no longer being visually pleasing. I’d like to see this with the font simplified and the ‘window of butterflies’ on a simple white background…so in that respect, the negative space Corrie speaks of is a winner in my book too.
Doreen Erhardt
http://www.facebook.com/SalonOfArt
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/SalonOfArt
Hi Cindy –
I’m with Corrie and Doreen (and anyone else who may have said it) … with your beautiful ornate butterfly, I’d go with ONE frame instead of the repeating frame and make it a horizontal layout card. Ditto on the text (And I’d capitalize the R in Rainbows). I’d place the ornate butterfly frame on a white card (less is more/negative space) – it is so pretty and detailed that all the extra color/texture fights with it and takes away from it. For inside text I’d take what you did and just tweak a bit to
“Butterflies and rainbows
follow wherever you go
as you discover all that
that the Good Lord brings.
safe on your new journey.”
– repeating the B&R on the inside. Using the vague “they” feeds my paranoid side – LOL! THEY’RE FOLLOWING ME AGAIN! (grin)
– I personally find the “wind beneath your wings” overused, thanks to Bette …
in the keywords I’d add “new journey” and “be safe” and possibly “good lord” (I’d check keyword stats on GCU and also do a search for it on a couple of the search engines, see what comes up). Your artist’s notes are being very underused! “Life if full of new journeys as we travel the path we have chosen for ourselves. Know that butterflies and rainbows and other wonderful experiences are ahead while the Good Lord watches from above. Offer your support to a loved one while they transition to a new journey of their own with this colorful and comforting Butterflies and Rainbows encouragement card.” or something to that effect. Or: share briefly why butterlfies are comforting to YOU and your wish that this colorful butterfly may bring that same comfort to a loved one. Either choice, depending on which direction you want to take your artist notes, is attractive to a shopper, and provides content rich verbage (and relevent) text for the search engines to pick up on.
Hope this helps! And as with all my critiquing – use what you can, and can the rest : )- (Happy Fourth of July!)
PS – I’d lose the “thinking of you” category. This feels, to me at least, more of an encouragement card. I’d love to hear others’ thought on the category!
H Cindy,
I’m in agreement with the others about the font being hard to read. I liked Doreen’s suggestion about maybe using only the first letter of a work with the fancy font. I was also thinking that if the butterfly blocks were a bit more separated it would look less cluttered and easier for the eye to take in. Or like others have said using just one, so the reader can absorb the ornate detail.
If you go down to a single butterfly, I’d make the card horizontal. So the single butterfly can be a bit larger.
It is my opinion and observation that the oval frame trend is a bit done with in the states. It sort of makes the card a bit dated. The use of the oval frame is still used in crafting and quilting, however, in the greeting card genre it dates back to the early-to-mid-1990’s. After saying that there are other countries where it is still alive and kicking. I’ve seen it in England from some of the larger greeting card manufacturers. Not sure which country your in.
Just checking in (from out-of-town). I’d first like to thank you all soooo much for the valuable feedback. I can’t wait to get home (to my PC where my art programs are) to put these suggestions to work. 🙂 I’m truly amazed at how easy this is for all of you; and when you’re providing me with such detailed specifics on my particular card, it just gives me so much to work with, AND it makes total sense! 🙂 Yes, I realize now that the font is illegible, and I plan to use the idea of just the first letter of each word being given an ornate quality. Not sure yet exactly what I’ll do with the butterflies, themselves, but there definitely will be changes based on your helpful ideas. As for the background, I liked the textured look when I made the card (and it looks pretty nifty in print)…but I can see now where it is “too much” …so, negative space it will be. 🙂 And Peggy, I LOVE what you did with the inner verse & Artist notes! I guess I haven’t really been utilizing the Artist notes with my cards, but will absolutely do so more, in the future. 🙂
After I get home and work up the changes, I’ll repost the updated card here. 🙂 Thanks again to everyone who gave me suggestions. I’ll also eventually get a message posted to my blog with links to a card from each of you as my thank you (although that will be after I remake my own card).
Thanks again, and I hope you are all having a fabulous Fourth of July! 🙂
Cindy
Perhaps a verse like this would work? Just a general suggestion, Cindy. You’re welcome to change it so it more closely reflects your views of course.
I’m sorry for your furry loss
I know the path your feet will tread
I too have a few furries gone
As I try to travel on
I hope these words lend you peace
Knowing that your pain will ease
But never totally cease
Because your love was deep
My condolences on the passing of your
beloved pet
I like this card it’s very pretty however I am not so keen on the rainbow edge, but that is a preference thing, the font though as corrie pointed out is not so good 🙂
I am at times guilty of not such a good font idea and sometimes what looks good one day is not when you look again, but fundamentally this card is beautifully done and the butterflies are lovely.
I like them being framed but would it look nice with each butterfly in the frame but the blue and purple bit might look nice taken out along with the rainbow edge, so each butterfly is in its respective pretty frame but not touching each other and more white space. (I know i gabble and confse :P) It would definately make the butterflies pop on white space, but with the coloured boxes, but no frames (ohh hard for me to make sence I appologise) 😀
I have so many I would love for all of you to look at but I picked this one:
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-Happy+Valentines+Day+with+Hearts-greeting+card-474370?pid=474370&aid=138159&ref=cb_card_title
I originally designed this card for my wife. I personally like the image and the message and have had a lot of clicks (when I say a lot it’s had over 200 clicks) but no sales yet (except the one I bought). I’ve had some really positive feedback from other artists here at GCU, and on Facebook. Friends that visit my shop point it out as one they really like. Other designs I like less sell and I’m not sure why this one hasn’t. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me!
I like your inner verse – very good! I think it’s the black you’ve used on the canvas that makes up the front image that’s letting you down with this design. I see you’re using that color for emphasis, yet I find it makes the card look dirty, as if your hearts were smudged with oil. That’s my visceral reaction. if you could brighten it up, it might make the design more appealing.
Corrie
Hi John –
I love the design! When I go to larger view, I can really see the paint texture and canvas texture. Very nicely done! I LIKE it full bleed – I think a frame would cage up the freeness of the design too much (does that make sense?). But I did take a screen shot and lowered the hue by -5 and I preferred how that brought out more of the subtle brush strokes. It also brought out more hint of red in the black that Corrie was mentioning. Play a bit with the hue, saturation and light and see if it doesn’t pop more for you (but save your original file first and start with a new file name so you don’t lose the original file!).
Your inside text is very nice, tho I’d change the line breaks so “our” and “Valentine” START new lines instead of ending lines. (hmm … now that I play with the inside text more in my head, I’d do this instead …
“If love could be captured on canvas
our romance would be considered
a masterpiece of modern art!”
Valentine, our love is one of a kind!”
and leave off the Happy Valentine’s Day – the last line keeps it in the category and you aren’t repeating the V word so closely.
I would also then create this card in a general “I love you” category by changing the inside to: Darling, our love is one of a kind. Double your exposure!
Title: can you imagine how MANY cards are out here with the title you have? How about changing it up, to be a bit unique and catch the eyes of the shoppers – Valentine Masterpiece Greeting Card? Love on Canvas Valentine Card? You get the idea …
Keywords – you are underusing a serious selling tool here …. add those keywords! All help GCU site searches and the first ten will help you on the big external search engines.
(if you change the inside text, you’ll have to remove Happy valentine’s Day from the keywords) – valentine, hearts, love, painted canvas, colorful, modern art, masterpiece, romance, love, abstract.
You have some wonderful images in your store – nice work! I don’t think it will take much to bring this one into the “SOLD” category!
Thanks so much for the great advice Peggy! I’m working on the color now by trying to experiment with all the ways I can lighten and brighten the image. I don’t know if you saw my GCU forum post the other day, but my PC died a while back and I only have my iPad to do art with. I can’t use the iPad to upload any new images. GCU’s software and the iPad don’t allow me to upload images and GCU has no plans to create an iPad app at this time to fix this problem. 😦 I can edit any existing images to create new cards and change inside verses, catagorys and keywords though. I like you idea’s about improving the inner verse and the category and keyword changes also! I’m going to get busy on those changes and I will have to borrow friends and families PC’s to upload new images while I save up for a new Mac! Thanks again for all the great advice, I really appreciate it!
John
John,
I looked at both card sizes and I did see the textures. The dark color looks black to me but it could be a really dark purple. If you used black, my advice to you is to use purple. If it is already a dark purple I would say lighten it up a wee bit. I tend to prefer purples instead of pure black. It’s just a preference thing.
Perhaps something as simple as saying, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetheart” would do the trick.
Hello Cindy,
Well I think the butterflies and the design work in side the frames is exceptional, but I’ll have to say this is a classic case of too much. I don’t relate the two by looking at this card and although I see butterflies, don’t see rainbow unless you are eluding to the background and frame colors. Also, I’m in agreement with the rest on the font. You need something that compliments the design work, but this font wasn’t it. You have the right idea with the scroll thing going but those stars threw me. I think with as busy as the butterflies and design are, you need something less busy and just as light and free like butterflies for the text. Someone mentioned negative space, which I think they’re referring to losing the multi-colored lace background and using the impact of white which I think you’d be quite surprised by the result.
To me poetry is art in words, with a natural grace and carry over of the mood you are trying to embrace. Watching a butterfly, it is light but choppy in flight, almost erratic and then with a moment of grace lights on a flower or leaf regaining it’s strength to fly once again. You need to carry that over into your words, keeping them simple, but feel that creature on it’s journey to the end of the rainbow struggling against the wind.
Your card reminds me of homemade apple pie, spiced with a too much cinnamon and sugar. Personally, I like them that way! I’ve never found a store bought or restaurant pie that equals the delicious apple pies my mother bakes where I could smell the cinnamon three blocks from the house. I mentioned this to a friend of mine who owns a restaurant and although his food is good, I still found his pie bland and he makes all his pies from scratch, baking them there in the restaurant. He opened my eyes to reality in that as he stated he could bake a pie that would rival anything my mother ever made, but where he and I would really appreciate the extra effort another ten people would find it over the top. He bakes his pie according to what the majority of the customers are used to. It is your art and your poem, but you are designing and writing for mass market appeal, so you have to spice accordingly.
The right verse for the right situation, simple, and straight to the point!
You’ve definitely got a cool concept going here, so keep with it, simplify it a bit and I know it will sell!
Best always, Randy
John,
In regard to your card, it is a beautiful design and love the hearts. Unfortunately I think aside from Christmas, you have a design in a category which has a huge competitive disadvantage. With these two holidays, you need to be very specific and use your keywords to your best advantage, using words that differentiate your card from others! You are pulling a lot of clicks because of your broad spectrum keywords, but you need to target possible sales by using more specific keywords. You’ll still get a lot of clicks due to the general keywords, but you’ll also draw the more probable buyers with specifics.
Also, I see what you are driving at in your inside verse, but with the collage of hearts you have here, think you also need to state the obvious in your verse. something like, “Of all the hearts out there, yours alone…” Remember you can use up to three categories.
I also was thinking perhaps a solid border most likely black or white would define your image more. But i do like it edge to edge as well.
I probably missed something else, but don’t think 200 clicks in this category for a general Valentine’s card is unreasonable. Trust me you’ll have a lot more by the end of the weekend. lol
Best always, Randy
John,
Just read Corrie’s comment and had the same initial feeling looking at it that she did. But then changed my mind after looking at it a bit. The problem with a greeting card, unlike a painting hanging at exhibit, you have only a few seconds to draw the potential viewer into your card before they move on to the next. Thinking some more on it, I’ll have to agree with her and go with my initial response. A little brighter and more definition to grab the viewer’s interest!
Best, Randy
Thank’s Corrie and Randy! I can see what you mean. I am in the process of reworking the painting and making it lighter and brighter! We’ll see how it goes.
John
Hi John…
I love your artwork and the verse, though I can agree with Corrie’s suggestion. My suggestion would be to take the first part of your wonderful verse (If love could be captured on a canvas) and place it on the front in a lovely script font. This really captures the essence of both your art and verse. This to me would make this card hit home.
Doreen Erhardt
http://www.facebook.com/SalonOfArt
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/SalonOfArt
Thanks Doreen! I’m working with the color of the image now. I like the idea of moving the “……captured on canvas” copy to the front in a script. I’m going to play around with it and see what I can come up with!
Thanks again, John
Something bugs me about this card and I can’t seem to pinpoint it…. http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-Encouragement+For+Friend-+Just+Hold+On+-+Dragonfly-greeting+card-818938?pid=818938&aid=152843&ref=cb_card_title
Hi Tracie…It’s a nice photograph and a good idea. I think maybe it just needs to be simplified a bit more. Crop the photo inside that black border and put it on a plain white background. Give a shadow effect to raise the photo slightly off the background. I often add a slight texture to my white background. Leave the font as you have it, make it smaller if necessary for good balance. I think that’s all this card needs, let the photo and your sentiment speak for themselves.
Doreen
I’m not sure… I like the photo, it’s very crisp, the frosted effect is good, the eye is drawn where it needs to go. I really like the card a lot. Maybe it’s something a little more subtle that’s bugging me, too. In almost every “Hang in there” card I’ve ever seen, the person/animal/creature is actually hanging – feet dangling in the air, clinging to the branch, about to fall off. The dragonfly appears to be sitting there at his leisure, not in peril at all. Perhaps this is a crazy suggestion, but if you were in the mood to try something, what about tilting the photo so the dragonfly is at a more acute angle, and appears to be in danger of falling off? I would also add at least one keyword phrase, such as “what to say to a friend in need” – minus the quotations.
Corrie
I’ve been working on this card and have come up with 3 different possibilities. I know for certain I’m keeping the upside-down version of the dragonfly (thank you, Corrie for noticing that) but I can’t decide which background to go with. I’ve come up with 3 versions…if any of you have a Facebook account would you mind taking a peak and seeing which one is better before I edit my card? : http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.172942319434963.45982.134883016574227
Great job on the rotation Tracie!! Looks fantastic! I ‘liked’ my choice on your facebook link. I LOVE it now!
Tracie have to agree with both here, that photograph is superb, fundamentally that should be selling as is, but then buyers are not *scratches head*, perhaps corrie is right with the tilt, but to be honest I cant see what’s wrong with it 🙂 maybee though if you try what Corrie suggests (always worth a fiddle with) and see how it goes, but to be honest there is nothing wrong with this card at all, the photography is superb the framing is spot on, draws your eyes dead on to the dragonfly. I would at least give the suggestions to both of these a go perhaps even make two 😉 worth a punt me thinks.
Thank you ladies. I think both of your suggestions are just what this card needs…I have stared and stared at it knowing something wasn’t quite right, but just couldn’t pinpoint it. Yes, that bug is way too calm and collected…I’m gonna go be mean and give him a little nudge in the “wrong” direction. And Doreen, I added a shadow under the photo like you suggested–love it!…now off to do a little surgery!
Tracie – I’ve taken a look at your FB page – I prefer the frosted border (NICE look, artistically) and the slightly larger font (larger, to me, gives it a slight edge of urgency/intensity – and HOLD ON! sounds louder and more encouraging than hold on! (I like your font and your choice of capitalization, by the way – I’m not suggesting you go all caps …). I think the rotation was just what the art doctor ordered!
Speaking from a photography point of view… the knot on the stick visually out weighs the dragonfly. It is the first thing that the eye goes to. The frosted overlay actually helps pull the eye to the edge of the card and gives it a homogeneous look. I’m usually not one to go for the overlays, but feel that it applies in this case. There is also an odd symmetrical balance that doesn’t usually happen with backgrounds. It’s happened to me too when doing nature shots and I just clone out the region. The knot on the stick is roughly about the same shape and color weight as the dark brown area located diagonally below it. See how the eye goes to the knot on the stick then to the dragonfly then directly to the area on the background? It’s more prominent on the smaller photos. It’s the third thing the eye looks at. This is just a preference thing. You may need to do some testing to see what you like. But what if that brownish area was darker? What if it was greener? What if it was blurred more taking the highlight out. What if it wasn’t there at all?
I admit that this is trifle stuff but this is how I was taught in school.
SunAtNight, I see exactly what you mean. That knot has bugged me since I originally made the card, but I didn’t think to clone it out. As for the background, the original was SUPER green and I toned it down. I’m going to go do some more testing…I don’t know why this card is so important to me–maybe it’s because it was the first dragonfly I photographed that actually turned out 😀
OK, I’m in!
This Pet Loss Sympathy Card has had 102 hits – and only 4 sale. I’m open to feedback – give me your best! And a hearty thank you in advance!
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-Pet+Loss+Sympathy+-+Lhasa+Apso-greeting+card-615181?pid=615181&aid=137160&ref=cb_card_title
It’s a great picture for the purpose, Peggy – who could not be moved by those soulful eyes? – but there is a danger in doing a pet sympathy card using a particular breed on it. People will likely only buy the card if they’re sending it to someone who has lost a lhasa apso as opposed to a Great Dane or a mutt. That probably accounts for the clicks but few sales. Unless there’s a sudden plague that strikes only lhasas, I’m afraid you’re stuck. 🙂
Corrie
To get around this, could one create something with a scene as opposed to any specific breed or mutt? I have a couple pet sympathy cards as well. I know many pet owners often refer to the “Rainbow Bridge” when a pet passes, however I wonder if using that inspiration would be overkill.
Thanks, Corrie. if it’s a “breed thing”, then I’m fine with that (I’m doing sympathy cards in many breeds/mixes, as the pose/look/props warrent). I’ll also be marketing the pet loss line to vet offices, starting in August, so I’ll see how it goes over there as well.
Donna – most certainly a scene can be used! I’ve seen cards like that before and they can be quite beautiful and comforting. (here’s one of mine – even tho it’s a Border Terrier in the scene this is one of my more generic Loss cards: http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-Pet+Loss+Sympathy+Card+-+featuring+a+Border+Terrier-greeting+card-802340?pid=802340&aid=137160&ref=cb_card_title
And for the pet owner who has just lost a furry family member, I can tell you that The Rainbow Bridge strikes a chord and isn’t overdone. Here’s one of my newer cards working with that theme (one of my personal favorites): http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-Sympathy+Loss+of+Pet+-+featuring+a+Toy+Poodle-greeting+card-820811?pid=820811&aid=137160&ref=cb_card_title
NOTE: these two cards are listed as examples only and are NOT a part of the Critique Clinic (in keeping with Rule #1) : )-
Yes, that’s just what this card needs–a snippet of the verse on the front, or some sort of I love the image–reminds me of my sweet dog growing up. But when I first saw it I thought it was a blank greeting card. (then again, I’m new at this…)
Hey guys…well I can offer my personal experience and that is that the ‘breed’ issue certainly has not been an issue for me. I sell a variety of mine every day between all my POD sites…so I’m not convinced it’s entirely breed related. For what it’s worth Donna, I think the Rainbow Bridge thing has been done to death…no pun intended. In fact I created my pet sympathy cards 2-years ago because I was so frustrated with what was being offered.
You many want to consider putting a bit of color into those eyes so they pop out at the viewer. Then I would take that image and put it on a plain, simple background. Now I will also say that all of mine have some of the message on the front of the card. Something like this Peggy is what I’d do…I took your pup and did a quickie placement to express what I was trying to say.
Thank you so much, Doreen! I love what you did – and I am a fan of your sympathy line, as well. Nice work up!!
I love both your pet sympathy lines!
I wasn’t going to submit this week since I did two in a row already and didn’t realize the rules for only one card every four weeks… but since we are talking on this topic, here’s two I did both with the same verse which I know stinks…
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-sympathy+on+loss+of+pet+general-greeting+card-765535?pid=765535&aid=137698&ref=cb_card_title
http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/-sympathy+on+loss+of+pet+general-greeting+card-765529?pid=765529&aid=137698&ref=cb_card_title
verse if the same for both and it definitely needs some help… not sure if they image could use help too…
Donna, I really think it’s the verse that’s letting this card down. The first part sounds like a lecture. Remember, a greeting card is a conversation between two people – the giver and the recipient. To say that “people sometimes don’t realize the pain involved in losing a pet” etc comes across as patronizing to me, and about the last thing I want to hear. If I were you, I’d think about simplifying the text to a more sincere expression of sympathy, such as “I know your pet was a good friend and part of your family – my condolences on your loss.” That might do better for you.
Corrie
Hi Donna…I have to agree with Corrie on your verse so I won’t comment further on that. The image of the dog is fine and I think works. The cat card image really bothers me and I think it’s the composition (placement) of the cat. Maybe you could try a different pose of kitty or make it smaller and off-center? I think it’s just too big and too centered…easy to play with it and see 🙂
Hi everybody! I finally got my “thank you” post added to my blog. I’ve been having a hard time playing ‘catch-up’ after our return from a loooong 4th of July trip, so I put the “Kitties” links and my ‘thanks’ to you all for your critiques in one post: http://ilovecuttables.blogspot.com/2011/07/its-been-awhile.html My updated card is there. I changed the font of the words on the front to be readable as well as to include some rainbow colors (since rainbows are key to this card). I added more white to the background… but I didn’t change the butterfly pix, the card orientation, or remove the ovals because doing any of those things would have required me to start from scratch (more or less), since (alas) I didn’t put everything on separate layers. I changed the verse, artist’s notes, and added more keywords. Thanks, everyone, for your valuable input. 🙂